Thursday, March 8, 2012

Oh Goodness...

'OH GOODNESS'...that's one of Maleigha's new phrases lately.  But I thought it was a good title because it has been a VERY long time since I've posted anything.  Tons of things have happened, like I'm PREGNANT with our second child and it has been a bumpy ride ever since I've found out. 

I think I knew I was pregnant almost immediately...I started to get soooo nauseous at night and even some during the day.  We found out on January 4th, it was a great way to start off the new year.  Of course I wanted a child and had been trying for a while actually.  We found it to be very hard this time around.  With Maleigha it happened first try...not so much this time around.  So not too soon after finding out I was pregnant, a friend from High School passed away in a tragic car accident.  Which even though I haven't spoken to him in years...we literally grew up less than a block away from one another and he was one of the funniest and sweetest people.  I handled it okay...but then the VERY NEXT DAY I got a call from my sister that my mom had fallen and broken her hip.  WTF!?  So my brother, niece, and I drove across Texas (well my brother drove...I can't drive a standard) and got there while she was in surgery to replace it.  At this point I'm getting a little stressed out.  During the time we were there with my mom we had some family business to take care of which is what really sent me over my stress threshold.  Things are better with that situation and has resulted in her moving out here and she is currently living with my brother until we can help her find a place down here where I live. 

So during this time, I am still experiencing some pretty hardcore morning sickness.  And of course, it's not just limited to the morning but rather all day and especially at night.  Well I went to the doctor for my first appointment last month and was given a prescription for zofran which helps with nausea.  WEllllllllll that zofran causes me to have other stomach issues that you can use your imagination...but let me add the stomach cramps are what I cannot handle.  I took it for a couple of days and then realized what was causing me to be in so much pain and discomfort.  So I stopped taking it and have managed the nausea pretty well.  Things got back in order...then I went for an ultrasound on the 29th of February, and found out that I have a HUGE cyst on my right ovary. 

Well HELL!  So of course I'm thinking this has GOT to do with why I've been feeling so shitty this time around.  Yes I know that all pregnancies are different but good grief...I was barely ever sick with Maleigha...and there are days that I can hardly function with this pregnancy.  I haven't been experiencing any pain per say...but from the way the ultrasound tech put it I should be doubled over in pain.  Awesome. 

So I had my appointment with my doctor on Monday the 5th and she let me know just how big that cyst was...6 inches.  Well 11.2cm x it's a pretty good size.  She seemed kind of concerned about it...which of course made me concerned.  If it doesn't go away on it's own...or gets bigger, then around 20 weeks I will have surgery to have it removed.  Fabulous!  The only kind of surgery I've had is oral surgery...I've never been cut open...soooooooo scared about that. They also saw some bleeding behind the placenta that they want to watch as well. Well, before I started talking to the doctor, they tried to find the babies heart rate/beat using the external doppler...and they couldn't find it.  So of course that got me all kinds of upset but my doctor reassured me that it was normal to not be able to pick it up sometimes being that I'm only in my 12th week.  But to be on the safe side I had to go up to Arlington (current doc is in Mansfield) to their other location and have another ultrasound.  Mainly to check the size of the cyst but also to check on the baby.

I was excited to see that the ultrasound tech that did my first ultrasound was also the same tech that did my second one. Her name is Diana...LOVE HER!  So I felt a little better, and immediately I saw the baby's heart beat and Diana let me listen to it for a good long time until I felt better.  Diana made a good point in that with the cyst being so large it could be making it difficult to pick up the baby's heartbeat on the doppler.  So, besides the fact my baby was still alive and kicking...the cyst really hadn't made a change over the course of a few days.  But still, I have the feeling that I am going to have to have surgery. :(

Something exciting happened today.  I swear on everything that I can feel the baby move today.  I know they say after you've already had a baby you can feel them move sooner on because you know what it feels like...and I have felt it like 5 different times.  It could be nothing...but I really do think it's my baby.  :) 

So...that's all I'm going to update on right now.  There is TONS I could do about my sweet Bug...but that girl deserves a blog all her own.  Love that little thing!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Angel Wings

I, like most people, become consumed with our everyday 'hassles'.  Mine usually consist of Maleigha's attitude and not being as big of a helper she thinks she's being.  I feel bad for getting on to her at times but I think..."how is she ever going to learn....right?".  I noticed a friends' post on FB earlier this week about a little girl...not that much older than Maleigha that was her last few days. 

I found the parents page and then the page dedicated to her. I will leave it at the end of this blog for those that are interested.  Her name is Jasmine Uhl and at 6 months of age her parents thought she had an earache...but it was so much worse.  She has ATRT which is a form of brain cancer.  She has since gone under several surgeries...had part of her brain removed, and has spent the past 2 years fighting for her little life.  The parents were given the news last week that the cancer has spread to her stomach and that she had approx. 2 weeks left. 

Now can you be told that YOUR baby...only had a few short days left?  I honestly don't know what I would do.  It reminds me of when I was around 9 or 10.  My brother had a little girl named Allison.  She was born without the left ventricle in her heart and only lived a few short days.  I remember how sad everyone was...but I was too young to fully understand.  I don't want to go into much more because I don't want to relive that moment for my family...but I see what it has done to both my brother and sister-in-law. 

I know it's sad to hear about babies dying...but it also makes me aware of how something so little as a potential earache can be so dangerous.  Cancer is not prejudice of gender, age, religion, or anything else.  It has really made me aware of what I 'complain' about.  Because that's not my child.  That's not my baby who is fighting for her last breaths and all I can do is watch and hope that she is not suffering. heart just aches for this little family.  They have the most beautiful pictures of her 'Angel Wings' posted on the site. 

I really encourage everyone who reads this to please check out their page.  I also encourage people...including myself to stop worrying/complaining about superficial, materialistic crap that really....makes no difference.  Like....damn, so tired today, I hate Mondays, hate my too big house because I have to clean it all, my kids are getting on my nerves....etc.  I know that I am guilty of it too...but after following Jasmine's story this week, it makes me think.  She will NEVER get to complain about anything.  Shouldn't she be able to complain about not being able to breathe on her own?  Or to complain about having a feeding tube?  Or, having to be on a morphine drip because the cancer has consumed her body?  It just makes me sick thinking about this poor little angel...but soooooooooooooo thankful because my sweet sweet healthy.

She is alive.  My bug is my mini-me and copies everything I do.  She screams my name down the hallway and runs up and hugs my legs from behind.  'Helps' me get the clothes out of the drier.  Likes to be scared by mommy and daddy.  Chased up and down the hallway.  Thinks petting Sassy is the bees knees.  Saying things like 'Excuse me, thank you, sorry'....and seeming to understand them as she says them.  She is my bug...and I will NEVER take anything...any moment for granted with her. 

This poor little Angel Jasmine may not get to do these things, but she has been the most important thing to her parents.  And I pray that she does get her Angel Wings end her suffering, and for her parents to have peace.

...............getting off my soapbox now. ;)

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Lettuce Conspiracy

When I was pregnant I didn't have heartburn at all!  That is until the last couple of weeks...but I only got it when I ate lettuce.  Seeming how lettuce is one of the 5 vegetables that I sucked!  So I stopped eating it and started back up really eating it a couple weeks ago.  I know's been like a year!  Anyway...I noticed that after I ate it I got heartburn...I was like wtf?!  So I googled it to see if this was common for women or if they experienced anything similar after pregnancy.  I call my mom and told her the story.  She said that she's heard of that happening and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

Well, my mom called me back like 10 minutes later.  (This is the good part)  She tells me that she started thinking about it and she's been getting heart burn as well form lettuce.  REALLY?!  What a coincidence mom?!  She said that she thinks 'THEY' are putting something on the lettuce.  Who you may thoughts exactly.  She then said that when she came down here the last time the lettuce she got at Brookshire's (my local grocery store) it didn't give her heartburn.  I then let her know that is where I got my lettuce.  She said well...maybe 'THEY' are putting something on the lettuce as well.

I'm not really thinking it out when I'm talking to her...but at the end of the conversation it hits me...who are 'THEY'? my mother gets older the things that come out of her mouth are more and more ridiculous.  Don't get me wrong...I laughed hysterically when I told Jerid about the lettuce conspiracy.

I haven't asked her what or who she thinks 'THEY' are...but I was talking to her yesterday about romaine lettuce and how I enjoy it more than iceburg now.  She told me...'Well, just make sure you wash it really well before you do anything with wash off that stuff 'THEY' put on it.'

I love my mom.

Thursday, August 25, 2011


4 years ago today Jerid and began dating exclusively.  Over the course of that first year we broke up for a week because he wasn't sure it was what he wanted...DUH! ;)  At tax return time he gave me all of his return to pay on student loans and my light bill.  That March 2008 we got engaged at NorthPark Mall parking garage after seeing a movie.  We got married the following year in 2009 and found out a month later we would be expecting Maleigha.  All that time we had our ups and downs but one thing remained constant...and that was love.  Jerid has seen me at my all time lows...the lowest I've ever been.  He has also been with me during the highest moments in my life...standing beside me as my best friend. 

I've been thinking these past couple days about how much one person is capable of loving someone or something.  There were times where I honestly didn't know if I made the right decision...but without a doubt I know that Jerid and I were meant to be with each other. He makes me laugh so much...and even though he won't admit it...I make him laugh too.

Jerid gave me the best thing I could have ever of asked for...and that is Maleigha.  The moment you look into your child's eyes when they are born...and overwhelming amount of emotions run through you.  It is the scariest and best feeling in the world.  I will NEVER forget the moment I saw Maleigha.  All this time I was carrying her...HER in my body.  I never knew that my best friend would be such a little thing!  I know that she will hate my guts in like 10 years but whatever...for now...she's my bestie.  The past couple of days have been the funnest days.  We were dancing...we call it 'shake your booty'.  She was laughing so hard she literally collapsed in my arms and managed to get out 'mama' as she was out of breath from laughing.  I had a flashback of when I looked at her that first time...and how much as I love her...she loves me...just for me. 

My favorite times of the day are when we wake up...and I hear her talking to her 'Ellie'...which is a stuffed Elephant blanket she has had since birth.  Now she...LOVES her Ellie.  She has always cuddled her Ellie and when times are hard for her...and we don't know what is going on...Ellie always makes it better.  Now poor Ellie is always a victim of true when Maleigha gets real mad she throws Ellie...just as adults we say or do things to hurt the ones we love.  I think it is because subconsciously we know they will forgive us and love us just the same.  They accept us for who we are.

In this picture Maleigha is about 6 months old...and she STILL sleeps with Ellie underneath her.  She likes to have her close...and if she is too far away for too long...all hell may break loose.  I love to hear the things she says to 'OH NO!' or 'Ellie...oh Ellie'.  Then after a couple of minutes she is calling my name. 

Without a doubt I would say I am blessed beyond belief.  I get to stay at home with my daughter and Sassy cat. Jerid works his butt off and finally got a promotion this past's not a lot...but it's more than what we had.  We are by no means rich, but we get by.  I like to think that I have grown up and have become a lot less selfish.  I would rather buy things for Maleigha than myself.  I don't need to go get my hair done or get my nails done.  I don't even tan anymore for the fact that it's too expensive, too far away, and I just don't care.  I would LOVE to loose like 50 pounds...oh yes...I said 50.  I am working on's hard but I don't feel so bad when I sit down and think about the things that I do have.  I have Jerid...who is what home means to me.  I have my Sassy cat who even without Daisy...still loves me and reminds me of her everyday.  But finally I have Maleigha.  And I know now...that no matter what...she is all I will ever need in life.  I'm not saying I don't need or want Jerid....but having Maleigha opens my eyes to what true love is.  She is love...and she is all I need.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Oral Surgery

So all my life I've had poor dental health.  Since I was 9 I've had 6 teeth pulled.  I have been dealing with one molar for about 4 years now.  Had a crown out on it back then, and it has since broken off about 1.5 years ago.  Instead of getting it fixed I ignored it.  Well a few months ago while chewing a tootsie roll the filling in that tooth came out...and it's been down hill since.  Over the past year a different molar has steadily been breaking off here and there...then 2 weeks ago a BIG chunk came this point I was's gotta happen...gotta get em pulled.

I should clarify, I'm not afraid of the dentist at all.  It's just over the years the one's that I have seen have been so rude and judgmental.  I brush my teeth everyday and about 2 years ago I started to regularly floss...that's awesome I think! ;)  But growing up in Louisiana the well water we drank didn't come with Fluoride...imagine that!  So my teeth appear to be ok...I've never had to have braces or anything like that luckily...but they pretty much rot from the inside out.  Some dentists can be pretty mean about it.  That is what has kept me away from them.  I got referred to this dentist in Duncanville and she is AWESOME!  I really like her and she doesn't make me feel like crap!

I went to her last week to get the upper tooth pulled and she pulled it....but couldn't get the tip of the root out.  It was too close to my sinuses and so she sent me to an oral surgeon.  So yesterday at 10:00am I went in to see him.  He went ahead and pulled the other broken tooth for me...and it was awesome!  I was given gas and sedated.  I was awake and really only remember them putting the stitches in.  I honestly thought I would be feeling pretty awful today...but I'm not.  I've been able to eat and have been able to manage the uncomfortableness with Advil. So all in all this dentist experience has been a good one. 

I was scared to death at first to be sedated...but it's the way to go.  It's definitely more expensive...but so much more worth it for me to not have an anxiety attack. ;)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Proud Mama

Every parent is proud of their child and thinks they are the smartest, more beautiful, sweet child above all others.  But child is super smart for her age and it scares me!  HaHa!  She is so mischievous already.  As I'm typing this I'm telling her 'No touch'...she's trying to grab the new tooth brushes I bought yesterday off of the stand.  She's looking at them...and goes to grab them.  I tell her no touch.  She continues to look at them...and slowly puts one finger on I'm not watching.  She's a mess!

Anyway, she is little for her age.  She's 16.5 months, weighs 21lbs.  She's in the 50% for height and brain growth...but only 25% for weight.  We don't starve should see her eat spaghetti!  She's just a little thing.  (I have to remember that she was only 5lbs 14oz @ birth.)  She is a sassy little thing though.

Daddy taught her how to blow kisses and she loves to do that now. She likes to watch Dora and Olivia among other cartoons.  But it's fun to watch her watch it.  Her face lights up when she sees something she likes and she may smile.  Sometimes she laughs as if she gets the jokes.  She likes to climb on everything.  She is all about doing things herself.  Or as she'll tell you 'I get it'.  She loves ice cream sandwiches and running around the house yelling 'MaMaMa' like she is right now.

She was late getting her teeth and now has 7...including molars...which is crazy to me. She loves ketchup and cell phones.  I never thought my daughter would have a blackberry but she does. (My old phone)  She likes to hold my finger when we walk around...and I remember doing that to my brother when I was little.  Maleigha loves to do ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle...she'll do hand movements to it.  But as far as saying ABC's...not there yet.  She knows what kitty cats say 'MEOOWWWWWW' and pup pups say' wroooffff woooffff'.  She likes to tell you where her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, belly, and toes are...then point them out on us.  She likes to shake her booty when a good song comes on too. 

Maleigha likes to go in mommy/daddy's room and touch all of the things on their nightstands like eye-glasses and water bottles.  Anytime she falls or looses her balance she'll react really quick with 'Alright!'.  She LOVES to dig in mommy's purse...which she tries so hard to say.  She's a social butterfly and craves to be the center of attention.  She is sassy and we have already had yelling matches. This worries me for when she's 15 and hates my guts. ;)

But for right now, I'll enjoy her following me around even though I get annoyed and almost fall at times.  I tell Jerid that she's my shadow and she really is.  She's my best friend...and I know that won't be a forever thing.  So right now, I'll enjoy while I can.  Don't get me wrong...I LOVE mommy time...even if it's going to the MYSELF.  I'll always love this little girl and she'll always be my little girl.

Monday, June 20, 2011


Well the last post was depressing! LOTS have changed since December. I've quit my job and I stay at home with Maleigha now and I LOVE it! Jerid is working his booty off to support us and I'm thankful. It was a hot mess at my job...which I truly did love more than anything...but people take advantage and emotionally abuse others...I can't and I won't take it any more.

Maleigha is a walking talking machine! I'm gonna list the words she says...and I'll remind you that she is only 15 months...and has been saying most of these words since before she was ONE! She says, "Alright, okay, bye, hi, mama, dada, sass-sass, pup-pup, Lissa-for Melissa, what's that, baby, mouse, stop, not nice, shoe, oh no, uh oh, outside, pack-pack for backpack." She is learning new words everyday and driving me crazy! HaHa...when she gets mad at Jerid or I she'll tell us 'not nice' or 'you stop'...reallllllly irritates me that she's already so sassy...but she is definitely just like me. She started walking at around 10 months and believe it or not I bought a potty chair last week...we're gonna start that pretty soon...I know I'm crazy.

We have our routine, breakfast, playtime, lunch, nap, more playtime or swimming, dinner, bath, bed. EVERYDAY...same thing. Kind of gets annoying but I love that I can be home with her. I clean...ALOT. But to anyone who has a toddler knows that if you clean your house in the will NOT look the same that afternoon when Daddy gets home...and asks what you did all day. I joke that I should be skinny from running after her all day...but I'm not! ;)

Jerid and I started watching True Blood...we are only at the end of season 1 so no spoilers please! So far it's ok...really has no comparison to Vampire Diaries in my opinion. I also started Weeds...LOVE LOVE LOVE that show. It's CRAZY! Like really crazy...but I just finished season 5 today and waiting for season 6 to come in the mail....I love Netflix!

Lots of things are different but lots of things are the same...none the less I'm probably the most happy I've been in a LONG time...very long time. Getting my ducks in a row...sometimes I think that I should have a radio show...I like to talk and think I have a good point of view on may not be the same as yours...but it's a valid opinion. :) Anyway...I've rambled enough for a month or so...I might update more that I don't have a paying job. Because the person that wants to tell me that being a stay at home mom is not a job...come on over and talk with me for a little bit. :)