Love

4 years ago today Jerid and began dating exclusively.  Over the course of that first year we broke up for a week because he wasn't sure it was what he wanted...DUH! ;)  At tax return time he gave me all of his return to pay on student loans and my light bill.  That March 2008 we got engaged at NorthPark Mall parking garage after seeing a movie.  We got married the following year in 2009 and found out a month later we would be expecting Maleigha.  All that time we had our ups and downs but one thing remained constant...and that was love.  Jerid has seen me at my all time lows...the lowest I've ever been.  He has also been with me during the highest moments in my life...standing beside me as my best friend. 

I've been thinking these past couple days about how much one person is capable of loving someone or something.  There were times where I honestly didn't know if I made the right decision...but without a doubt I know that Jerid and I were meant to be with each other. He makes me laugh so much...and even though he won't admit it...I make him laugh too.

Jerid gave me the best thing I could have ever of asked for...and that is Maleigha.  The moment you look into your child's eyes when they are born...and overwhelming amount of emotions run through you.  It is the scariest and best feeling in the world.  I will NEVER forget the moment I saw Maleigha.  All this time I was carrying her...HER in my body.  I never knew that my best friend would be such a little thing!  I know that she will hate my guts in like 10 years but whatever...for now...she's my bestie.  The past couple of days have been the funnest days.  We were dancing...we call it 'shake your booty'.  She was laughing so hard she literally collapsed in my arms and managed to get out 'mama' as she was out of breath from laughing.  I had a flashback of when I looked at her that first time...and how much as I love her...she loves me...just for me. 

My favorite times of the day are when we wake up...and I hear her talking to her 'Ellie'...which is a stuffed Elephant blanket she has had since birth.  Now she...LOVES her Ellie.  She has always cuddled her Ellie and when times are hard for her...and we don't know what is going on...Ellie always makes it better.  Now poor Ellie is always a victim of true love...as when Maleigha gets real mad she throws Ellie...just as adults we say or do things to hurt the ones we love.  I think it is because subconsciously we know they will forgive us and love us just the same.  They accept us for who we are.

In this picture Maleigha is about 6 months old...and she STILL sleeps with Ellie underneath her.  She likes to have her close...and if she is too far away for too long...all hell may break loose.  I love to hear the things she says to Ellie...like 'OH NO!' or 'Ellie...oh Ellie'.  Then after a couple of minutes she is calling my name. 

Without a doubt I would say I am blessed beyond belief.  I get to stay at home with my daughter and Sassy cat. Jerid works his butt off and finally got a promotion this past week...it's not a lot...but it's more than what we had.  We are by no means rich, but we get by.  I like to think that I have grown up and have become a lot less selfish.  I would rather buy things for Maleigha than myself.  I don't need to go get my hair done or get my nails done.  I don't even tan anymore for the fact that it's too expensive, too far away, and I just don't care.  I would LOVE to loose like 50 pounds...oh yes...I said 50.  I am working on that...it's hard but I don't feel so bad when I sit down and think about the things that I do have.  I have Jerid...who is what home means to me.  I have my Sassy cat who even without Daisy...still loves me and reminds me of her everyday.  But finally I have Maleigha.  And I know now...that no matter what...she is all I will ever need in life.  I'm not saying I don't need or want Jerid....but having Maleigha opens my eyes to what true love is.  She is love...and she is all I need.

Oral Surgery

So all my life I've had poor dental health.  Since I was 9 I've had 6 teeth pulled.  I have been dealing with one molar for about 4 years now.  Had a crown out on it back then, and it has since broken off about 1.5 years ago.  Instead of getting it fixed I ignored it.  Well a few months ago while chewing a tootsie roll the filling in that tooth came out...and it's been down hill since.  Over the past year a different molar has steadily been breaking off here and there...then 2 weeks ago a BIG chunk came off...at this point I was like...it's gotta happen...gotta get em pulled.

I should clarify, I'm not afraid of the dentist at all.  It's just over the years the one's that I have seen have been so rude and judgmental.  I brush my teeth everyday and about 2 years ago I started to regularly floss...that's awesome I think! ;)  But growing up in Louisiana the well water we drank didn't come with Fluoride...imagine that!  So my teeth appear to be ok...I've never had to have braces or anything like that luckily...but they pretty much rot from the inside out.  Some dentists can be pretty mean about it.  That is what has kept me away from them.  I got referred to this dentist in Duncanville and she is AWESOME!  I really like her and she doesn't make me feel like crap!

I went to her last week to get the upper tooth pulled and she pulled it....but couldn't get the tip of the root out.  It was too close to my sinuses and so she sent me to an oral surgeon.  So yesterday at 10:00am I went in to see him.  He went ahead and pulled the other broken tooth for me...and it was awesome!  I was given gas and sedated.  I was awake and really only remember them putting the stitches in.  I honestly thought I would be feeling pretty awful today...but I'm not.  I've been able to eat and have been able to manage the uncomfortableness with Advil. So all in all this dentist experience has been a good one. 

I was scared to death at first to be sedated...but it's the way to go.  It's definitely more expensive...but so much more worth it for me to not have an anxiety attack. ;)