Life

So it has been a while and I don't want to be that person who only posts once a year...so I'm going to update everyone who is interested on what has been preoccupying my life as of late. Maleigha is now a week away from being 7 months old! Time has gone by so fast it breaks my heart! She is looking more and more like a little girl to me instead of my baby. But as I tell her every night when I lay her down and kiss her goodnight..."I'll love you forever and always...". She is army crawling it up...not quite a full on crawl but she is on her way. She holds her bottle, rolls over, goes from laying down to sitting up on her own, says 'Dada' 'Mama'...and I promise she tries to say 'kitties'! She LOVES the cats! It's so sweet to see her laugh and squeal when she sees them. And when we let her pet them...oh...you would have thought she died the way she gets excited. It's sweet.
Here she is being a mess...which is how she is every minute of everyday! I would not have it any other way though...not at all.

I have a new position at work. In July there was a change of management in my preschool and I went from Assistant Director to Director. It was such a blessing! Not just the pay increase but this has been my dream. I have always wanted to have my own center. Yes I want to teach and I still think I do in a way...but this is what I've always wanted. So for about 3.5 months I've been in this position and it has been HARD! Whew...hard. Many times I've wanted to quit...pack it up and just move on. But I've realized that no matter how hard it is...and it is going to be...it's my job and I love it. I have had some really hard days that turned into weeks...this last week for instance...but I know that everything happens for a reason. To make me stronger and so I can learn from my mistakes. I'm tired of being complacent and I want to change not only for myself but for my family. At the end of the day that is who I go home to...it may be after an 11-12 hour day...which most days are...I have my Jerid and sweet Maleigha to hold me. I know not everyone will like me...and that's OK.

But I feel like sometimes people forget that I am human. I'm not just talking about work anymore...but life in general. I have faults...I know I do...but so do you! I'll be the first to admit if I said or did something wrong...but I expect that from others as well...and evidently that is too much for some people. Sometimes it doesn't seem to matter how hard you work, how hard you try to be a good parent for your child, how hard you try to do things right...there is something...always something that makes me feel not good enough. That I'm not trying hard enough. It's been rough being the only one working this last year...but I guess I don't understand why some people get annoyed when we ask for help. And when some do try to offer something...it's superficial things that are NOT needed...material things...not items we NEED! I need gas in my car to get to work, I need food for my child, I need diapers for my child, I need food for myself and my family...urgh...I don't want this to be a vent session but when you have no one to REALLY talk to about things build up.

I'm horrible at that. Letting things build up and not letting them out when I need to. So I end up ranting and raving like a lunatic! Oh well...story of my life. I wish I had a book about my life...I'd be so rich! :D HaHa! But anyway...over all my little family is doing well. We are happy for the most part, healthy for the most part, and alive and thankful for all the blessings we do have...each other.