Oral Surgery

So all my life I've had poor dental health.  Since I was 9 I've had 6 teeth pulled.  I have been dealing with one molar for about 4 years now.  Had a crown out on it back then, and it has since broken off about 1.5 years ago.  Instead of getting it fixed I ignored it.  Well a few months ago while chewing a tootsie roll the filling in that tooth came out...and it's been down hill since.  Over the past year a different molar has steadily been breaking off here and there...then 2 weeks ago a BIG chunk came off...at this point I was like...it's gotta happen...gotta get em pulled.

I should clarify, I'm not afraid of the dentist at all.  It's just over the years the one's that I have seen have been so rude and judgmental.  I brush my teeth everyday and about 2 years ago I started to regularly floss...that's awesome I think! ;)  But growing up in Louisiana the well water we drank didn't come with Fluoride...imagine that!  So my teeth appear to be ok...I've never had to have braces or anything like that luckily...but they pretty much rot from the inside out.  Some dentists can be pretty mean about it.  That is what has kept me away from them.  I got referred to this dentist in Duncanville and she is AWESOME!  I really like her and she doesn't make me feel like crap!

I went to her last week to get the upper tooth pulled and she pulled it....but couldn't get the tip of the root out.  It was too close to my sinuses and so she sent me to an oral surgeon.  So yesterday at 10:00am I went in to see him.  He went ahead and pulled the other broken tooth for me...and it was awesome!  I was given gas and sedated.  I was awake and really only remember them putting the stitches in.  I honestly thought I would be feeling pretty awful today...but I'm not.  I've been able to eat and have been able to manage the uncomfortableness with Advil. So all in all this dentist experience has been a good one. 

I was scared to death at first to be sedated...but it's the way to go.  It's definitely more expensive...but so much more worth it for me to not have an anxiety attack. ;)

Proud Mama

Every parent is proud of their child and thinks they are the smartest, more beautiful, sweet child above all others.  But really...my child is super smart for her age and it scares me!  HaHa!  She is so mischievous already.  As I'm typing this I'm telling her 'No touch'...she's trying to grab the new tooth brushes I bought yesterday off of the stand.  She's looking at them...and goes to grab them.  I tell her no touch.  She continues to look at them...and slowly puts one finger on them...like I'm not watching.  She's a mess!

Anyway, she is little for her age.  She's 16.5 months, weighs 21lbs.  She's in the 50% for height and brain growth...but only 25% for weight.  We don't starve her...you should see her eat spaghetti!  She's just a little thing.  (I have to remember that she was only 5lbs 14oz @ birth.)  She is a sassy little thing though.

Daddy taught her how to blow kisses and she loves to do that now. She likes to watch Dora and Olivia among other cartoons.  But it's fun to watch her watch it.  Her face lights up when she sees something she likes and she may smile.  Sometimes she laughs as if she gets the jokes.  She likes to climb on everything.  She is all about doing things herself.  Or as she'll tell you 'I get it'.  She loves ice cream sandwiches and running around the house yelling 'MaMaMa' like she is right now.

She was late getting her teeth and now has 7...including molars...which is crazy to me. She loves ketchup and cell phones.  I never thought my daughter would have a blackberry but she does. (My old phone)  She likes to hold my finger when we walk around...and I remember doing that to my brother when I was little.  Maleigha loves to do ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle...she'll do hand movements to it.  But as far as saying ABC's...not there yet.  She knows what kitty cats say 'MEOOWWWWWW' and pup pups say' wroooffff woooffff'.  She likes to tell you where her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, belly, and toes are...then point them out on us.  She likes to shake her booty when a good song comes on too. 

Maleigha likes to go in mommy/daddy's room and touch all of the things on their nightstands like eye-glasses and water bottles.  Anytime she falls or looses her balance she'll react really quick with 'Alright!'.  She LOVES to dig in mommy's purse...which she tries so hard to say.  She's a social butterfly and craves to be the center of attention.  She is sassy and we have already had yelling matches. This worries me for when she's 15 and hates my guts. ;)

But for right now, I'll enjoy her following me around even though I get annoyed and almost fall at times.  I tell Jerid that she's my shadow and she really is.  She's my best friend...and I know that won't be a forever thing.  So right now, I'll enjoy while I can.  Don't get me wrong...I LOVE mommy time...even if it's going to the store...by MYSELF.  I'll always love this little girl and she'll always be my little girl.

Life

Well the last post was depressing! LOTS have changed since December. I've quit my job and I stay at home with Maleigha now and I LOVE it! Jerid is working his booty off to support us and I'm thankful. It was a hot mess at my job...which I truly did love more than anything...but people take advantage and emotionally abuse others...I can't and I won't take it any more.

Maleigha is a walking talking machine! I'm gonna list the words she says...and I'll remind you that she is only 15 months...and has been saying most of these words since before she was ONE! She says, "Alright, okay, bye, hi, mama, dada, sass-sass, pup-pup, Lissa-for Melissa, what's that, baby, mouse, stop, not nice, shoe, oh no, uh oh, outside, pack-pack for backpack." She is learning new words everyday and driving me crazy! HaHa...when she gets mad at Jerid or I she'll tell us 'not nice' or 'you stop'...reallllllly irritates me that she's already so sassy...but she is definitely just like me. She started walking at around 10 months and believe it or not I bought a potty chair last week...we're gonna start that pretty soon...I know I'm crazy.

We have our routine, breakfast, playtime, lunch, nap, more playtime or swimming, dinner, bath, bed. EVERYDAY...same thing. Kind of gets annoying but I love that I can be home with her. I clean...ALOT. But to anyone who has a toddler knows that if you clean your house in the morning...it will NOT look the same that afternoon when Daddy gets home...and asks what you did all day. I joke that I should be skinny from running after her all day...but I'm not! ;)

Jerid and I started watching True Blood...we are only at the end of season 1 so no spoilers please! So far it's ok...really has no comparison to Vampire Diaries in my opinion. I also started Weeds...LOVE LOVE LOVE that show. It's CRAZY! Like really crazy...but I just finished season 5 today and waiting for season 6 to come in the mail....I love Netflix!

Lots of things are different but lots of things are the same...none the less I'm probably the most happy I've been in a LONG time...very long time. Getting my ducks in a row...sometimes I think that I should have a radio show...I like to talk and think I have a good point of view on things...it may not be the same as yours...but it's a valid opinion. :) Anyway...I've rambled enough for a month or so...I might update more that I don't have a paying job. Because the person that wants to tell me that being a stay at home mom is not a job...come on over and talk with me for a little bit. :)

Daisy Mae

For those of you who know me understand what and how I feel about animals. I wanted to be a vet when I was little then understood that I may have to put them down and decided against that. I have had dogs and cats over the years...and a very special kitty named Ewok for I had since I was 9 years old...died of cancer when I was 21. That was the worst time of my life. About a month after she passed I got 2 kittens. Daisy Mae and Sassafrass. (Daisy and Sassy).
This was taken when they were about a year and half. Sass is on the left and Daisy is on the right.

I am and will forever be a cat person. I love them like I love my child. They are my best friends. And sadly on Tuesday, the 21st I lost one of my best friends.

I walked down the hallway that morning to get ready for work and found Daisy laying behind the couch on the floor. She was not moving...and from what we think we believe she had a heart attack. Daisy was a very sensitive kitty and took on the role of the protector. She protected her sister Sassy all the time. Sassy was the runt of the litter and from the day we took her home until the day she passed she would always let Sass eat first. She'd let Sass do everything first. I of course was devastated to find my precious Mae kitty gone...but now I only have Sassy...and she won't understand where sister is.

I don't mean to write this to depress anyone...I just need to talk about it. It helps me I think. I am sooooo sad. But with work this week I haven't really had time to vent and to really get it out. But now I can. Today I think Sassy is starting to realize that Daisy is really gone. She keeps walking up and down the hall going into each room...meowing...looking for her. It is the saddest thing I think I've ever seen. Sassy has become so much more attached to Jerid and I over the past couple of days. Just breaks my heart.

I think with Daisy passing it was actually harder on me than when Ewok passed. I was able to prepare for Ewok...I made the decision to put her down after not eating for 3 days. But with Daisy...to find her at 6:30 in the morning...worst feeling in the world.

I don't care who thinks I'm crazy...you just don't understand what it's like to have something to love...and that will love you unconditionally...just for being you. It's amazing how much you can love an animal...how much joy they bring to your heart. Their habits you will never forget...and everytime you do something that you know you shared with them...like when I get out of bed and make sure to look before putting my feet down...because that's where she slept. Doing the dishes and having her come sit on the counter and watch...then sniff my nose....or when sad...she would come snuggle me...the kitty who did not cuddle. I need her now.


Oh I miss my Mae kitty...she was a sweet one. I'll never forget you Mae.

Life

So it has been a while and I don't want to be that person who only posts once a year...so I'm going to update everyone who is interested on what has been preoccupying my life as of late. Maleigha is now a week away from being 7 months old! Time has gone by so fast it breaks my heart! She is looking more and more like a little girl to me instead of my baby. But as I tell her every night when I lay her down and kiss her goodnight..."I'll love you forever and always...". She is army crawling it up...not quite a full on crawl but she is on her way. She holds her bottle, rolls over, goes from laying down to sitting up on her own, says 'Dada' 'Mama'...and I promise she tries to say 'kitties'! She LOVES the cats! It's so sweet to see her laugh and squeal when she sees them. And when we let her pet them...oh...you would have thought she died the way she gets excited. It's sweet.
Here she is being a mess...which is how she is every minute of everyday! I would not have it any other way though...not at all.

I have a new position at work. In July there was a change of management in my preschool and I went from Assistant Director to Director. It was such a blessing! Not just the pay increase but this has been my dream. I have always wanted to have my own center. Yes I want to teach and I still think I do in a way...but this is what I've always wanted. So for about 3.5 months I've been in this position and it has been HARD! Whew...hard. Many times I've wanted to quit...pack it up and just move on. But I've realized that no matter how hard it is...and it is going to be...it's my job and I love it. I have had some really hard days that turned into weeks...this last week for instance...but I know that everything happens for a reason. To make me stronger and so I can learn from my mistakes. I'm tired of being complacent and I want to change not only for myself but for my family. At the end of the day that is who I go home to...it may be after an 11-12 hour day...which most days are...I have my Jerid and sweet Maleigha to hold me. I know not everyone will like me...and that's OK.

But I feel like sometimes people forget that I am human. I'm not just talking about work anymore...but life in general. I have faults...I know I do...but so do you! I'll be the first to admit if I said or did something wrong...but I expect that from others as well...and evidently that is too much for some people. Sometimes it doesn't seem to matter how hard you work, how hard you try to be a good parent for your child, how hard you try to do things right...there is something...always something that makes me feel not good enough. That I'm not trying hard enough. It's been rough being the only one working this last year...but I guess I don't understand why some people get annoyed when we ask for help. And when some do try to offer something...it's superficial things that are NOT needed...material things...not items we NEED! I need gas in my car to get to work, I need food for my child, I need diapers for my child, I need food for myself and my family...urgh...I don't want this to be a vent session but when you have no one to REALLY talk to about things build up.

I'm horrible at that. Letting things build up and not letting them out when I need to. So I end up ranting and raving like a lunatic! Oh well...story of my life. I wish I had a book about my life...I'd be so rich! :D HaHa! But anyway...over all my little family is doing well. We are happy for the most part, healthy for the most part, and alive and thankful for all the blessings we do have...each other.

3:16

Maleigha is HERE! After being 13 days late...she came at 1:49am on March 16th...3:16. ;) I like to think that has a special meaning...it does to me. She was a whopping 5lbs. 14oz at birth and 18inches long. When we left the hospital she was 5lbs. 9oz. I was like...what the hell...why is she so damn small??!?!?!?!? She was nearly 2 weeks late and even my doctor thought she was gonna be about 7 pounds...uhhhhhhh no!

So...here's my story. I had an appointment at my doctor's on Monday afternoon at 1:30pm. I used the bathroom before I went in and then went to the room. Of course I was going to be examined and I sat there for a good 20 mins waiting...I guess my doc was busy. Anyway...I look and Jerid and I'm like...I gotta PEE! So I get dressed and go to the bathroom again...and when I was finished I stood up and BAM!...my water broke! I was like...oh dear...what do I do?! I went back to the room...got undressed... and waited for my doctor. He walked in a couple mins later I tell him...I'm pretty sure my water broke. Sure enough...he was like GIRL...go on over to the hospital. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! I knew for a fact that no matter what...I was going to be coming home...with my baby. No more failed attempts...it was actually happening.

The hospital is right next door to my doctor's office so I just walked on over. We got there at 2:30pm...got checked in, got my IV, started me on a low dose of pitocin...and we were on our way. I was still only dilated to a 2 at this point so I wasn't expecting it to happen anytime soon...especially being a first time mom. I wanted to be strong and try to make it to 4cm before asking for an epidural...mmmmmmm.....them bad boy contractions started to REALLY kick in about 4:30/5:00pm. I asked for my epidural at 6:00pm and the anesthesiologist got there at 6:15pm. It was a BIG relief! They got me all set up and I was good to go. It was amazing!

About 10/11:00pm I started to feel discomfort from the catheter and found out her head was pressing against it and she was getting ready to come on out! They had me do a couple practice pushes and after like 2 pushes they told me to stop because she was right there! I was so excited! They called my doctor and told him to come on up there about 12:00am...he got there about 1:00am...I pushed for about 40 mins...and at 1:49am...my sweet sweet sweet baby was born. Without a doubt it was the most emotional experience of my life...and at the same time the best. Jerid DID cut the cord and didn't pass out...pretty sure his adrenaline kicked in. Automatically I could tell she had my mouth from the way she cried...I was in love.



The nurses cleaned her up...my doctor cleaned me up...and she got to stay with us for about 2 hours. It was very surreal. Me...I...I have a baby...and she is perfect.

It really is an overwhelming love you feel for your child the first time you see them...I always heard and now I understand. She's my best friend now...and I better enjoy it while I can...because at 2 weeks old...she is already growing so fast. I am so blessed and soooo tired...but she is here...finally.

On a different note...Jerid got a job! Thank the Lord! :) I am going back to work in a little over a week and I'm not ready to leave her yet. I'm not completely recovered myself, but gotta make that money! :)

9 days overdue...

Too bad being pregnant doesn't have an expiration date...because my baby would be EXPIRED! She was due LAST Wednesday, March 3rd. This wonderful day I've had in my head for MONTHS now...I was even induced on that day. It was a failed induction. I was at the hospital at 5:30am, got my IV...which took them 3 times to get. I have NEVER had an IV and that was the most traumatic thing I've gone through...so I guess I'm lucky. My Dr. came in and checked me and I was still where I had been...BARELY 2 cm. They started the pitocin drip at a 6 at 8:00am. They upped my pitocin dosage by 3 every half hour. So...the max is 40. I was at a 40 for HOURS! I NEVER dilated past a 2cm.They weren't going to break my water until I was 3cm dilated...never made it to that point. No change at all. I did however get to experience the worst pain I've ever had my entire life. I was given something to knock me out and took the pain away for about 2.5hours. Finally around 6:30pm my Dr. did his last check and I still had made no progress. He sent me home. Jerid and I got home at 8:00pm. 14.5hours later.

I have never had to endure the loss of a child and pray that I never do. But at that moment I felt like I had lost her...and I never even had a chance to have her. I was beyond distraught. Honestly the hardest day of my life and I felt cheated. I had gone through all that...and for nothing. I want everyone to know that I have not been against waiting...or that I was trying to go against my body. My Dr. said I could do it and I thought it was time. NEVER would I have imagined putting my self or her through that. I also never thought an induction would fail and be sent home without my baby. This comes from a lack of communication with myself and my Dr. I was told that if I had not gone into labor on my own over the weekend to call Monday morning and make an appointment because my Dr. said he wouldn't let me go past 41weeks. Hmph...so I was still pregnant on Monday.

I called and spoke with the scheduling people and the lady was like...he's not in the office this week. He won't be back until next Monday. WHAT! I'm sorry...what did you say?! They connected me to his nurses and they did infact let me know that he wasn't going to be there this week. I immediately broke down and started to cry. WHY had no one told me?! They did have me meet with another Dr. in the same practice the next day. So, Tuesday I went in and was told that I wasn't even quite at 2cm dilated and that in his opinion I should not have been induced. That my body was not ready. I was so upset. He seemed to think that my Dr. and myself didn't have a clear plan and I felt like that was my fault. I've never done this before and I don't know what I'm supposed to know or to expect. I feel that as a Dr. it is HIS duty to inform me of EVERYTHING...especially if the induction failed. I was dumb-founded that evening when he sent me home that I couldn't even think straight much less have questions.

So, I find out that my Dr. is in Haiti for the week. Lovely huh? Love that I find this out not from anyone in his office, but the ER staff when I went in because I thought my water was leaking. Nice huh. This new Dr. I'm seeing until my Dr. gets back(not for sure when that is) did allow me to take something to help me sleep. Seeming how I sleep no more than 3-4 hours a night. So far it has been a blessing. And...if I'm still pregnant I get to schedule an appointment for Monday...I'll be 42weeks next Wednesday...St. Patrick's Day.

So...needless to say I'm very ready for her to be here. Yes, I'm sure some of you know that Jerid and I aren't having the best time financially. He was fired in February for a STUPID reason...but I know that my mother has let my family know just how much of a 'lazy ass' he is and I don't appreciate it. So if you are a family member and have heard something about Jerid not having a job...please take it with a grain of salt. Being it is coming from my mother who, yes was here for 2 weeks while we thought we were having the baby, and saw him here each day. But she has her opinion on things and I can't prevent that from being shared. Jerid is NOT a bad person and does want to provide for his family. I would appreciate if anyone has anything to say or would like to know what is going on...just ask me or him. Please do not think you are getting correct information from my mother. Also, please don't judge him based on what others have said...you don't know him and it hurts me more than it does him.

Well, I think that's it for now. Oh...I think that if I am asked one more time about still being pregnant I'm going to loose it! It has been a VERY emotional week and a half for me...coming home without a baby and all...still being pregnant...Dr. being out of the country...but believe me people...I KNOW I'M STILL PREGNANT! I KNOW SHE'S STUBBORN! I KNOW THAT THIS IS GOD'S WILL! I KNOW IT'S CRAZY! I know that people just care and want to know how I am...but wow...it's almost overwhelming the messages, texts, phone calls that Jerid or I one get each day from at least one person. WE'RE GONNA LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS! It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. I don't know why it hasn't happened yet. Yes...I do know how big I am. I'm aware that I'm still pregnant. But please...for my own sanity...keep your little FB on...I'll post the moment she is born as well as alert the media. Not saying I don't appreciate everyone caring...but it hurts my feelings more than anything...and I'm not sure why. I just feel under a microscope...and those who know me know that I don't like to live that way. I'm a very private person...except for when I blog of course. ;) This is like my diary though. ;)


Ok...I think I feel a little bit better.